Friendship

Friends.  Some of us have many, and some only a handful.  Some of us go through life, thinking we only have acquaintances, not real friends.   But all of us would love to have them, would even do silly things to make them and none of us can really, truely function without them.

How long does it take to form a friendship?  Well, to me, some of my BFF's I have, I have made over a cup of coffee at a kiddies activity and we are still great friends today.  Some friends, I've know for years and I still feel more an acquaintance than a friend.  You see, it depends on how willing you are to trust people.  I love people and trust them easily.  I've been burned badly by friendships gone wrong but,  I have also been amazingly blessed by some of my friendship.  And because of that I still keep making friends all the time.  Some are friends for a season, some for a life time, but they all season my life and make it richer.

On the flip side of things:  Trust is a mutual thing, and unless the other person feels they can trust you, you will remain an acquaintance for a looooong time. Trust is not something easily won, if the person you require it from has been burned badly, and you must understand this.  Don't feel offended, let time work your friendship out.

Sometimes we drift apart because our lives move in opposite directions, but the true BBF is the one, that stays in contact regardless.  Maybe not as much as you used to be, but every few months, maybe even only once a year.  But when you catch up, it is as if you were never apart.

And then there is the friendships that is ripped apart and burned because of silly issues, never to be repaired again.  These are the hardest to overcome.  A lot of people swear off all friendship because of incidents like this, and it is sad.  You see, a broken relationship kills a little part of your humanity.  It is a part of your heart that will never be 100% again and to heal it even only to 99.95% takes a 100% forgiveness from your side, whether it was your fault or not.  Not easy.  You have to forgive that friend and you have to forgive yourself.  But most of all, you must learn to put it behind you, or else you will only have acquaintances at your funeral.  Even your family will become only acquaintances, because this wound festers and in the end destroys all relationships you are in, if you don't curb the pus and let the scare heal.

So you see, we absolutely need friendship, it is part of our human nature, and friendship start with you reaching out to the other person.  You have to be the first to offer it, even if it leaves you terrified of being betrayed and hurt.

I will never forget a conversation I recently had with a lady that I see as a friend, potentially a great friend, even a best friend.  Before our friendship started to blossom into something with potential, she felt the need to warn me that she only makes acquaintances. She is not open for friendship, and then she added "yet", that little word that made me smile, because it told me I can win her friendship if I can win her trust.  It was an EYE OPENER moment for me.  Because I realized, she has the guts to say, "earn my friendship please".  It was sad, because it said, she was hurt badly and many times so.

Another friend of mine, whom has become a firm BFF of mine over a very short period of time, was shocked when I called her one of my best friends during a conversation.  She never thought that she could be someones best friend.  No one had ever called her that.  She couldn't believe that I love her just the way she is and that I find her trustworthy enough to be one of my best friends.

So what am I trying to say?  Tell those friends of yours that you feel fall under your BFF banner that you see them as such.  Be a good friend and persistent in your friendship, with those friends that keeps you at arms length, you may win them over. But most of all remember:  Friendships are blessings from God, treasure them, work at them.  In the end, the only thing you can take with you to heaven is your friends and family.

Tell your friends you love them and are glad they are a part of your life.

Signing out,
Little old me.