This last week had been a week of many ups and downs. I enjoyed watching my two younger kids bond more and more as they now only have each other to play with. They also took on a lot more responsibility as they had to share the tasks, that the oldest bratling would normally do, between them. And they have been stars in this area. We had fun times with friends and times to just be silly together. All of it being little moments of blessing in our lives.
Then this weekend Bratling #2 went away on camp and suddenly it was only Girly Bratling and myself left in our big house, which suddenly felt huge as the silence descended. Our puppy managed to injure his tail and we had to wait until Monday to find out if it was bone damage or just muscle injury as the vet's x-ray machine needed repair. Thankfully, he got a clean bill of health yesterday and the painmeds are helping his muscles heal quickly. But sending his boss away, not knowing what goes on, was quite heavy for all of us. Lucky pup was showing remarked improvement by Friday evening on the meds, so I could send a message to calm some nerves. X-rays done yesterday only confirmed that all was well and that there shouldn't be future problems.
In between it all, the Big Brat and Biggest Bratling, were saying goodbye to France and heading into Italy, sending me messages of all the exciting things they see and do. I love reading his blog, spelling and grammar mistakes an all. Seeing and experiencing famous sights through his eyes and senses.
In general, I felt blessed that we as a family could have all these experiences. We truely are living a blessed life.
But at the same time, I was constantly worried, are my bratlings doing OK? Are they warm enough, fed enough, coping with being away from home and their dogs (and each other)? For the first time in my life I had my three kids in three different places. Two of them in places they have never been before. One alone with friends in a place that is an hour's drive away if conditions are good. The Biggest Bratling at least still had his dad to be with him.
I kept wondering how my parents did it. How did they cope with their feelings when we went away on camps and eventually when my sister took her first overseas trip only to return years later. Those days there where limited communication opportunities. Today I can skype and sms or whatsapp. Even though Bratling #2 didn't take his phone with, I could still send him the needed message. How did our parents do it? How did our great grandparents do it? Send their children oceans apart, with communications sporadic at best?
And I realise that in our own country, just a few kilometers away from me, there are plenty of people who fled their home countries, leaving behind wives and small children as they try and make a living in a world that is becoming more and more intolerant of them. Many of us have domestic servants whose kids grow up without them in rural Eastern Cape. Often these people don't see their families for months, sometimes years. Families are broken up and torn apart all in the pursue of finding work to put food on the table.
This weekend I realised my treasures and counted my blessings. I can have my children with me. I'm blessed to have them with me 24/7. It is needed to let them go, like I did this month, but I know they will return and we will once again be together. Enjoying each other's company. When I fetched Bratling #2 on Sunday, I held him a little tighter and longer. Drinking in the feel of his arms around me, knowing that one day he will be all grown up and will leave me to be his own person in his own right. But I was blessed with that moment and will treasure the joy I saw in his face when he saw me. I will remember the warm hug.
My blessings are plentiful, but my treasures are my family.
Tuesday 29 September 2015
Monday 21 September 2015
Counting Blessings in a Broken World.
This last two weeks had been a rough one in our community. Crime got to the point where the people in our local township* took matters into their own hands. They took hold of 2 persons they felt are the culprits and have necklaced** them. Plenty others that managed to escape are now on the run for fear of their lives. This is coming from a community that is exhausted of living in fear every moment of the day. Their children are raped, the women are not safe to walk alone and drug problems are rive. Poverty and unemployment are causing a total breakdown of morals.
If you have read the book series, "The Maze Runner", the things happening just down the road from me, sounds like a scene out of one of the later books. It is as if a serious brain virus took hold of our community and turned good people into animals.
But as a fellow member of the community, I understand the fear. I understand why they are upset. I can even understand why they feel the need to take matters into their own hands. I can understand why they feel the need to attack would be offenders like animals. They want to take back their community. They want their kids to be safe, their wives and daughters to walk without fear. The honest people want to share the tradition of Ubuntu*** without fear of being exploited. They want to enjoy their limited material blessings without fear of being robbed or even murdered for it.
Living in South Africa you are daily bombarded with news of murder, drug problems, armed robberies, farm murders, rape stories that leave you sick to you stomach and corruption in our government, starting with our dear President Zuma. And ultimately we see the corruption in our defense forces, especially our police force. As citizens we don't know who to trust anymore. There are times where nowhere feels safe. Justice seems to be in the favour of the criminal. Our nation is beyond rational thinking when it comes to crime for most part. We are like cornered animals, we will either take the beating that is coming or we will fight tooth and nail to protect ourselves and those we love. But there is no denying, South Africa is on a knife point when it comes to the issue of crime.
I have to stand up for those who genuinely try to do their best in the up-keeping of the law. We do have politicians who still believe they can make a difference for the better of the people, who want to serve the people of South Africa and not just their own pockets. We do have policemen and women who are in the force because it is their calling. They want to make a difference and protect the community. I salute these people and pray that God will provide us with more people like these. I pray for protection over them. These people are the blessings in our society.
As I were trying to sleep last night, listening to the sounds of gunshots and stun-grenades going off just a couple of kilometers from my bedroom window, terror gripped me. I realized how fragile peace is. I counted myself blessed. I have a solid house, with every kind of protection possible in place. My heart bled for those in the township who where trapped in their flimsy houses, fearful of what sounded like a war breaking out just outside their not so sturdy doors. And in many ways it is a war. It is a war against the crime in our community and the apathy from our government to do anything about it.
South Africa is a beautiful country, with beautiful people. Under all the fear and filth of our current situation, we are still a country with warm hospitality and a heart for each other. Most of us want to embrace each other in unity and build our country up again. We want to make South Africa work. We are still a blessed nation as many of us still carry in our hearts the dream of unity in our rainbow nation. We know that each colour has beauty of its own and combined we are a bright light to the rest of the world. We are a blessed people, who can still make jokes and laugh when our national team makes complete fools of themselves. We still stretch out hands to help each other. We still get upset about the things that goes wrong. We want to make the difference needed to stop the crime and corruption. We are blessed because we still have the passion to make things right in our hearts.
I thank God for blessing us in this beautiful country, for blessing us with 21 years of peace. I pray that He will continue to bless us. That He will stand by us as we try and ward off the evil that surrounds us. That He will bless us just a little longer with peace. I know this is all just birthing pains of the End Times, and that we can't continue avoiding what is to come. Let each day be a blessing as we try to make the best of the time left to us to commit to sharing God's Words.
Yes we are suffering and things can go really bad really quickly, but we are also extremely blessed. And when fear over takes my senses, I will count my blessings.
*this is what us South Africans call areas where the poorest of poor live. **necklacing is the act of putting tyres around a persons neck, pouring fuel over them and setting them alight.
*** Ubuntu is a term used for brotherhood, for having compassion and showing humanity to each other.
If you have read the book series, "The Maze Runner", the things happening just down the road from me, sounds like a scene out of one of the later books. It is as if a serious brain virus took hold of our community and turned good people into animals.
But as a fellow member of the community, I understand the fear. I understand why they are upset. I can even understand why they feel the need to take matters into their own hands. I can understand why they feel the need to attack would be offenders like animals. They want to take back their community. They want their kids to be safe, their wives and daughters to walk without fear. The honest people want to share the tradition of Ubuntu*** without fear of being exploited. They want to enjoy their limited material blessings without fear of being robbed or even murdered for it.
Living in South Africa you are daily bombarded with news of murder, drug problems, armed robberies, farm murders, rape stories that leave you sick to you stomach and corruption in our government, starting with our dear President Zuma. And ultimately we see the corruption in our defense forces, especially our police force. As citizens we don't know who to trust anymore. There are times where nowhere feels safe. Justice seems to be in the favour of the criminal. Our nation is beyond rational thinking when it comes to crime for most part. We are like cornered animals, we will either take the beating that is coming or we will fight tooth and nail to protect ourselves and those we love. But there is no denying, South Africa is on a knife point when it comes to the issue of crime.
I have to stand up for those who genuinely try to do their best in the up-keeping of the law. We do have politicians who still believe they can make a difference for the better of the people, who want to serve the people of South Africa and not just their own pockets. We do have policemen and women who are in the force because it is their calling. They want to make a difference and protect the community. I salute these people and pray that God will provide us with more people like these. I pray for protection over them. These people are the blessings in our society.
As I were trying to sleep last night, listening to the sounds of gunshots and stun-grenades going off just a couple of kilometers from my bedroom window, terror gripped me. I realized how fragile peace is. I counted myself blessed. I have a solid house, with every kind of protection possible in place. My heart bled for those in the township who where trapped in their flimsy houses, fearful of what sounded like a war breaking out just outside their not so sturdy doors. And in many ways it is a war. It is a war against the crime in our community and the apathy from our government to do anything about it.
South Africa is a beautiful country, with beautiful people. Under all the fear and filth of our current situation, we are still a country with warm hospitality and a heart for each other. Most of us want to embrace each other in unity and build our country up again. We want to make South Africa work. We are still a blessed nation as many of us still carry in our hearts the dream of unity in our rainbow nation. We know that each colour has beauty of its own and combined we are a bright light to the rest of the world. We are a blessed people, who can still make jokes and laugh when our national team makes complete fools of themselves. We still stretch out hands to help each other. We still get upset about the things that goes wrong. We want to make the difference needed to stop the crime and corruption. We are blessed because we still have the passion to make things right in our hearts.
I thank God for blessing us in this beautiful country, for blessing us with 21 years of peace. I pray that He will continue to bless us. That He will stand by us as we try and ward off the evil that surrounds us. That He will bless us just a little longer with peace. I know this is all just birthing pains of the End Times, and that we can't continue avoiding what is to come. Let each day be a blessing as we try to make the best of the time left to us to commit to sharing God's Words.
Yes we are suffering and things can go really bad really quickly, but we are also extremely blessed. And when fear over takes my senses, I will count my blessings.
*this is what us South Africans call areas where the poorest of poor live. **necklacing is the act of putting tyres around a persons neck, pouring fuel over them and setting them alight.
*** Ubuntu is a term used for brotherhood, for having compassion and showing humanity to each other.
Friday 18 September 2015
Bratling # 1 takes his fist solo flight!
Today is a big day in our house. Bratling #1 is flexing his wings, and took his first complete solo flight this morning.
For the last 12 months we have been plotting and planning and finally arranging a very special trip for Bratling #1 with his dad. Big Brat and I had agreed with the boys that when they are 14 they can each get a solo trip with Dad to a destination of their choice. Well, Bratling #1 turned 14 this year and the big day for his trip arrived today.
We live in Cape Town, and Big Brat was waiting in the "not quite South Africa yet" section of the airport in Johannesburg for his son to arrive. (He flew in from somewhere in Africa yesterday and had the joy of spending the night in a transit hotel. At least he got some rest in.) Bratling #1 had the task to see himself through security in Cape Town and Johannesburg, passed the immigration desk there to meet up with Big Brat for their flight to Paris.
After settling butterflies last night, we all managed to get to bed early and have some sleep. Our wake up call was 5am this morning, which is believe me very unusual for this brood of brats and bratlings. I were pleasantly surprised when we all were dressed and present in the car by 5:45am. (OK, we did leave breakfast for the airport goodbyes.)
I don't know whose tummy had the most butterflies this morning. Bratling # 1, who was to go on his first big solo trip without adult supervision, Big Brat waiting in Johannesburg knowing there is nothing he can do but wait, or me, the mom who had to let go and watch her child walk off through security and know that she is not going to see him till God willing he returns in 26 sleeps from now. That was the hardest thing for me to do today, to say, "Off you go! Go have fun!" When I just want to hold him back and keep him with me.
Well, he made his way on his own to the meeting point. He did it without too much problems and as we speak the two of them are on a plane on their way to Europe.
What a blessing it is to give him this opportunity, to trust him to be adult enough to cope with the responsibility, but mostly to know I can trust God to keep a look out on him.
Have an amazing trip Bratling # 1! I hope you and Big Brat are blessed out of your socks with a wonderful time together, bonding and exploring. Gonna miss the two of you so much...
For the last 12 months we have been plotting and planning and finally arranging a very special trip for Bratling #1 with his dad. Big Brat and I had agreed with the boys that when they are 14 they can each get a solo trip with Dad to a destination of their choice. Well, Bratling #1 turned 14 this year and the big day for his trip arrived today.
We live in Cape Town, and Big Brat was waiting in the "not quite South Africa yet" section of the airport in Johannesburg for his son to arrive. (He flew in from somewhere in Africa yesterday and had the joy of spending the night in a transit hotel. At least he got some rest in.) Bratling #1 had the task to see himself through security in Cape Town and Johannesburg, passed the immigration desk there to meet up with Big Brat for their flight to Paris.
After settling butterflies last night, we all managed to get to bed early and have some sleep. Our wake up call was 5am this morning, which is believe me very unusual for this brood of brats and bratlings. I were pleasantly surprised when we all were dressed and present in the car by 5:45am. (OK, we did leave breakfast for the airport goodbyes.)
I don't know whose tummy had the most butterflies this morning. Bratling # 1, who was to go on his first big solo trip without adult supervision, Big Brat waiting in Johannesburg knowing there is nothing he can do but wait, or me, the mom who had to let go and watch her child walk off through security and know that she is not going to see him till God willing he returns in 26 sleeps from now. That was the hardest thing for me to do today, to say, "Off you go! Go have fun!" When I just want to hold him back and keep him with me.
Well, he made his way on his own to the meeting point. He did it without too much problems and as we speak the two of them are on a plane on their way to Europe.
What a blessing it is to give him this opportunity, to trust him to be adult enough to cope with the responsibility, but mostly to know I can trust God to keep a look out on him.
Have an amazing trip Bratling # 1! I hope you and Big Brat are blessed out of your socks with a wonderful time together, bonding and exploring. Gonna miss the two of you so much...
Sunday 13 September 2015
Returning
It has been a while since I wrote anything. Life got busy and my words got less. Friday night I revisited my blog and read through my thoughts of 4 years ago. Can it be? 4 years of a life blessed but also filled with probably a million distractions and plenty moments of pain.
In 4 years we've experience great joy and soul searching sadness. We have been challenged and have challenged ourselves. I moved house, inside my house probably 4 times, due to renovations. Not only extending, but also replacing the whole old roof. Almost 20 months worth of dust and chaos that I'm still trying to sort out.
My greatest sadness of the last four years has been the death of my brother. The loss is an intense pain, that I don't think I will ever completely loose. Seeing photos of him still make me wish I had him around and make me regret not phoning him more, just because. At the same time I had dear friends loose their parents to cancer. One of them not only lost both her parents, but also her home.
My world was filled with chaos and sorrow that I allowed to overtake me. I allowed myself to retract form the world as much as possible. I simply could not face anything more demanding that living one day at a time for a long time. I did what I could just to stay on top of life. I forgot to count my blessings. Blessings in abundance if I look back.
But I'm getting better. The chaos is subsiding. Though I had to face the depression demon again, in God's grace I once again overcame it. His love for me carried my through like always.
So we are starting over. Returning to focusing on our many blessings. Returning to seeking joy. Knowing the challenge is big. Things are bound to get hectic again, maybe even more crazy than ever before. The chaos may become more scary than before. But with God's help, I will be able control some of it a bit better, and that which I can't control, I'll cope better with dealing with it as it comes.
I choose to return to living in this life and counting the blessings I receive daily. And hopefully this time the blog will be more active and hold me accountable for counting my blessings and not just let me go rambling on and on...
In 4 years we've experience great joy and soul searching sadness. We have been challenged and have challenged ourselves. I moved house, inside my house probably 4 times, due to renovations. Not only extending, but also replacing the whole old roof. Almost 20 months worth of dust and chaos that I'm still trying to sort out.
My greatest sadness of the last four years has been the death of my brother. The loss is an intense pain, that I don't think I will ever completely loose. Seeing photos of him still make me wish I had him around and make me regret not phoning him more, just because. At the same time I had dear friends loose their parents to cancer. One of them not only lost both her parents, but also her home.
My world was filled with chaos and sorrow that I allowed to overtake me. I allowed myself to retract form the world as much as possible. I simply could not face anything more demanding that living one day at a time for a long time. I did what I could just to stay on top of life. I forgot to count my blessings. Blessings in abundance if I look back.
But I'm getting better. The chaos is subsiding. Though I had to face the depression demon again, in God's grace I once again overcame it. His love for me carried my through like always.
So we are starting over. Returning to focusing on our many blessings. Returning to seeking joy. Knowing the challenge is big. Things are bound to get hectic again, maybe even more crazy than ever before. The chaos may become more scary than before. But with God's help, I will be able control some of it a bit better, and that which I can't control, I'll cope better with dealing with it as it comes.
I choose to return to living in this life and counting the blessings I receive daily. And hopefully this time the blog will be more active and hold me accountable for counting my blessings and not just let me go rambling on and on...
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